CP:  For every $10 you get a stamp, and when you get enough stamps, you can get some… [with this she made a vague hand gesture] …knives.

Me:  So…. Jamie Oliver is some sort of… chef?

CP:  [smiling benignly]  Yes.

Me:  You have a great weekend.

This conversation caused a stir when I posted it on Facebook, as a result of which, I now know Oliver is a UK television chef with a cute accent and a studied, informal air who uses his celebrity to promote better nutrition, especially in schools. Several commenters recommended his TED talk, which I watched to the 7:30 mark, when he began fat-shaming a tearful homemaker and I had to avert my eyes.

I hadn’t meant to make fun of Oliver, but rather to lampoon my own cluelessness on matters pop cultural. Female commenters generally knew who Oliver is; many male commenters did not.

The stamps turn out to be a Sobey’s promotion involving a knife set (although the company’s subpar website makes no mention of it). Many commenters entreated me to collect the stamps on their behalf, even hinted I was selfish when I demurred. A continuous avalanche of paper slips already strains my mental health; no room remains for tiny, self-adhesive stamps and fussy little books in which to affix them.