President Barack Obama at the White House correspondent’s annual dinner and roast:
It’s fair to say that when it comes to my presidency, the honeymoon is over…. I’ve even let down my key core constituency: movie stars. Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance. Well, Matt, I just saw the ‘Adjustment Bureau.’ Right back atcha buddy.
Donald Trump is here. I know he’s taken some flack recently, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put the birth certificate issue to rest than the Donald. That’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like ‘Did we really land on the moon?’ ‘What really happened in Roswell?’ And, ‘Where are Biggie and Tupac?’ All kidding aside, we all know about your credentials and wealth of experience. For example, the other night on “Celebrity Apprentice” … you fired Gary Busey. These are the kinds of situations that would keep me up at night.
Michele Bachmann is here, and she’s thinking of running for President. Which is weird, because I heard she was born in Canada. Yes Michele, this is how it starts.
Can you imagine any of the leaders in Monday’s Canadian election being half this funny?