19 Sep Irving Schwartz stories – I

Irving Schwartz, whose death yesterday leaves a gaping hole in Cape Breton, loved to trade stories, so I offer this space to share a few about him. I hope you’ll send me yours.

Creative commons photo.

Irving’s outrageous TV furniture pitches — always ending with his over-the-top delivery of the tag line, “I guarantee it!” — earned him nearly universal face recognition throughout eastern Nova Scotia. When my own weekly television debates brought me a tiny fraction of his notoriety in the 1990s, Irving liked to embarrass me by introducing me to strangers.

At the Mull Cafe in Mabou one afternoon, he gestured ostentatiously in my direction.

“You realize who this is, don’t you?”  he bellowed to the waitress at a pitch no one in the restaurant could ignore.

The waitress, evidently an ATV viewer, stared at me blankly.

“I’m afraid I don’t.”

“But you know who he is, don’t you?” I asked, pointing at Irving.

“Oh yes,” she smiled. “I know Irving. Everyone knows Irving.”

Please send me your stories about Irving.