19 Dec Top 5 Money-Saving Sites for a New Sydney Library

CBRM Mayor Cecil Clarke wants to build the new Sydney library in Centre 200 as a way to save money. It seems the hockey rink came with an extra big heating system, built to accommodate the adjacent Casino. After construction, the casino operator bailed on the deal, and the heating plant has been running at half capacity ever since. Bingo: Cheap library!

Other advantages: Centre 200 is on a bus route. There’s lots of free parking (except when there’s a hockey game). It’s handy to the casino, giving borrowers the chance to double their money before paying off their library fines. It’s a visionary scheme, but before embracing it, let’s consider other ways the municipality could save money by combining the new library with existing municipal facilities.

In this spirit, Contrarian offers our Top 5 Money-Saving Locations for a New Sydney Library:

#5 — Archibald’s Wharf

By putting the new library on Archibald’s Wharf in North Sydney, CBRM would achieve the waterfront location so devoutly coveted by many library patrons. Oh… wait, the municipality doesn’t own Archibald’s Wharf anymore. It’s been turned into a massive new shipyard. Oh, well.

#4 — Battery Point Sewage Treatment Plant

This solid brick structure at the tip of Sydney’s North End could easily accommodate a second and third storey. It would fulfill the goal of a spectacular harbour front location, and perhaps spur completion of the long-delayed boardwalk extension from downtown to Open Hearth Park. Possible downside: odour issues.

#3 — Welton Street Bus Garage

This fully-staffed facility, located on a busy central thoroughfare, has plenty of on-site parking. It’s perfect for servicing Bookmobles, and it’s the most convenient spot in all of CRMB for public transportation. It’s a natural.

#2 — The CBRM Landfill

Our penultimate choice is the Sydney landfill site, conveniently located on the redundantly named SPAR Road. There’s copious room for parking and potential for endless expansion. It would be a popular location for birders, too, with its prolific population of gulls.

#1 — Contrarian’s No. 1 Money-Saving Site for a New Sydney Library

Fuzzy’s Fries and Book-Lending Service. Think about it. It’s fully staffed. It has a magnificent waterfront location. It’s convenient to CBRM’s newly locked-down civic centre. There will be no danger of ketchup stains on books. And with the money he’ll save, just think how much Cecil can squander on the Evergreen Promise of a Container Pier.