07 Nov If irony won’t work, try sarcasm

In the window of J.W. Doull Bookseller, on Barrington Street in Halifax, today:

Our Sincere Apologies

To the owners of The Palace, Bubbles’ Mansion, Peddlar’s Pub, The Alehouse, The Dome, The Lower Deck, Maxwell’s Pub, The Midtown, The Old Triangle, Cheers, The Split Crow, Durty Nellie’s, &c*

It is clear that one of our customers, upon leaving our shop after browsing in the mind-altering world of books, must have gone on to cause some sort of upset in one of your establishments. Whereupon some brave customer of yours in a fit of most laudable loyalty, then saw fit to smash our front window. To our everlasting shame, we do realize this is not the first time this shop has been responsible for this sort of inter-business altercation.

We understand that you are thinking of banding together to establish a Mutual Aid Fund to help one another when customers from retail shops and ‘quiet’ restaurants & cafes rove the street causing expensive damage to your premises, & waking you from your beds at 3 in the morning. Feeling as we do a great responsibility to you our neighbors, this shop wants to make that move unnecessary by getting all non-bar street level businesses to commit to establishing our own fund to help you the bar owners in your discouragement and distress.

– We should be willing to clean up after ourselves.
– Why should you be out of pocket?

*If your bar is not in this little list, and you think it should be, please do contact us.

Hat tip: CC.