If irony won’t work, try sarcasm

In the window of J.W. Doull Bookseller, on Barrington Street in Halifax, today: Our Sincere Apologies To the owners of The Palace, Bubbles' Mansion, Peddlar's Pub, The Alehouse, The Dome, The Lower Deck, Maxwell's Pub, The Midtown, The Old Triangle, Cheers, The Split Crow, Durty Nellie's, &c* It is clear that one of our customers, upon leaving our shop after browsing in the mind-altering world of books, must have gone on to cause some sort of upset in one of your establishments. Whereupon some brave customer of yours in a fit of most laudable loyalty, then saw fit to smash...